Posted in love

The Love I had for You

“Why? Why do you love him, not me?” he said as he saw her hands joining with the man he hates the most and she loves the most. He knew from starting that she loved him but how could he keep his feelings a secret from his best friend. The best friend who was with him in his worst times, when his father died she was there to make him feel alive, when his girlfriend left him, and also when he failed in one of the exams. It was always her but he never understood until this man came in her life. She was never a shy girl and that’s why she proposed Vikrant. He was very happy for her but as they became close, the way she smiled at him, her shyness when he said something in her ears, the way he used to hold her close, everything seemed wrong. He tried to stop him but the love he had for her only grew. He realised that it was always her, now her words were like a melody to his ears and everything seemed to be magical with her. He hoped every day that some miracle would happen and she would realize her feelings for him and would come running to him. He had imagined this thousand times in his mind, how she will express her love for him and how she never realised that it was always him. But it never happened. So, today he decided to speak what he had been wanting to say for days. 

He rang the bell which sounds the same, everything was the same, the house, the bell, her but not him. He changed, the love he had for her changed him. It changed him into the person he never wanted to be. He was deep in his thoughts when she opened the door and confusingly asked, “Why are you standing outside like a lovesick puppy whose girlfriend left him after cheating him and he still can’t get over it.” He knew she was never hesitant neither was he but today was different. He continued as he gathered all his courage “Nothing, actually, I wanted to ask you something?” ” When did you start taking my permission to ask something? Nevertheless, speak fast I have other work to do,” she said as she sat on the couch in her lawn. The words he wanted to say we’re not as easy to be said as thought but he had to say it so gathering his courage he said, “Surbhi, I know you think of me as your friend but I think….” before he could continue she angrily said, “Don’t speak. Please I request you to keep your words to you. I don’t want your words to break our friendship. You are special to me and will always be but this cannot happen between us.” Not able to stand anymore she took the help of the couch to sit but when he tried to help her Vikrant came in time to hold her. The patience he had till now was lost seeing them close and he finally questioned, “Why Surbhi? Why do you love him, not me?” 

Surbhi who was trying to keep her calm all this time burst with anger, “I don’t know. I don’t know why I love him. And how can you ask someone to tell you the reason why they love the person they love? Well, I don’t think I need to tell you this because it is only Vikrant who can have this answer.” All the calmness was all gone in Surbhi but Vikrant tried to calm her. “Surbhi, he is your friend. You need to calm down and you need to answer his question calmly because he is your friend and you can’t abandon him the time he needs you the most.” She calmed down after a few minutes and stood to speak to him. “Kartik, please sit and let’s talk,” she said to the man who looked like her friend but not the one she knew from a long time. Settling down she spoke, “You remember the day we met. I was in such a bad mood, I never told you the reason. That day my so-called friends abandoned me because they were embarrassed to be with me as no one around them accepted me, accepts the blunt girl, who never thinks before speaking. I was not comfortable in my own skin, it felt everyone left me because of who I was. But then I met you, my twin, soul. You made me realise that I don’t have to be ashamed of who I am. And I respect you for that and that is the reason for you being special and important in my life. Now, you asked about love, you remember the day I proposed to Vikrant. You joked if he would say no I ignored it that time but if you ask again I would say if he would have said no then I would have left, never questioned him because it is his choice whom he needs to love not mine and I am definitely not the person to ask that question.” She didn’t continue and left to her room because she knew if he didn’t understand now then she would lose her friendship with him forever. Vikrant followed her with confused expressions as he never knew what to say to Kartik or her. 

Kartik also left from there knowing she loves Vikrant and he has to accept the reality and he definitely is not the one to ask her any questions or decide whom she has to love. It is her life and she has the right to choose her life partner. He cannot force his love on her but what he was unsure of was their friendship. Will it be the same? Will they ever be able to move on?


It has always been writing which makes me feel alive.

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