Posted in Pain and Regret


‘I love u’, her voice still lingered in my ears. Her voice was like a melody, the music I always wanted to hear. But our ego took over us and everything fell apart. She left me or precisely both of us walked out on ‘us’. Not for a second, I believed in my love, I could have stopped her……..instead I chose to see her leave me. ‘Sir, it’s time to close. If you want I can call the cab for you’, the waiter who was patiently filling my glass this evening said bringing me back from my world of misery. I showed him a hand to stop and tried to walk. Alcohol always overpowered me, she always used to get angry but now………no one will get angry. A tear slipped my eyes but before I could wipe it, I saw someone standing near me. I looked up only to be surprised and shocked. It can’t be true, alcohol has seized my thoughts. It’s just my imagination and look she is not even talking when she can’t stop to talk for a second, of course, it’s my imagination. I started to walk ignoring her when her anger-filled voice reached my ear, ‘Sid, stop right there. Don’t you dare to walk away from me like this again?’ I turned to confirm my doubts and my hands reached close to her only to see her face still red with anger. This look……….it was the same when I used to go home after late-night party’s drunk. My eyes were filled with tears which were now part of me and my hand reached to touch her, ‘Don’t you dare’, she said with anger-filled voice. Her nose flaring and her teeth trembling due to anger was not new for me but today it gave me the sense of relief which never existed before, she was here in front of me, nothing else mattered. Her words faded and all I could see was how she looks. She looked a little different from regular. And then I realised what actually is happening, ‘D, is that really you?’ She didn’t looked surprised but instead came closer in order to calm me down. ‘You can’t be here…………I am hallucinating……………It’s not true……..Alcohol is affecting me…….How can you be here…’ with each word I walked away from her but she didn’t stop coming near me. ‘Don’t touch me..You aren’t real……You can’t be here…….’ and before I could have said something she said calmly, ‘because I am dead.’


It has always been writing which makes me feel alive.